Your April 2018 prayer calendar is here!
Tomorrow we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Death couldn’t hold Him! That SAME power that rose Jesus from the dead LIVES IN US! Let’s remember that power when we pray!
If you’re new to #WhenMomsPray, this year our theme for #WhenMomsPray is “Possessing the Promises”, and we are going to be focusing on God’s promises, praying those promises over our daughters, and activating them in their lives.
Our monthly prayer calendar is our gift to you as a prayer guide as you claim God’s promises over your daughter’s life. Click HERE to download your calendar.
Resources For You:
-We invite you to join our private prayer community the “Whatever Girls Moms Prayer Group” where moms of girls from all over the world are gathering in prayer and encouraging one another. Click HERE to join.
-Start or join a Whatever Girls Group. Click HERE for more information about starting or joining a group. Whatever Girls Groups are a great way for moms to parent intentionally while helping their daughters navigate their teen years, and girls form lasting friendships.
-Purchase our recommended resource “65 Promises from God for Your Child: Powerful Prayers for Supernatural Results”, by Mike Shreve. Note, this link goes to Amazon Smile, where Whatever Girls is set up as a registered non profit. Our ministry receives a percentage of all qualifying purchases made through Amazon Smile when you select Whatever Girls as your charity of choice. We appreciate your support, thank you.
-Have you “liked” our Facebook page? Click HERE to join us.
Do you live in the Spokane area? We’d LOVE to see you at our Empowering Women Tea and Awards on Saturday, April 28th. Click HERE for more information.
“Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, are children born in one’s youth.” Psalm 127:4
I watched through the pouring rain as my daughter walked away from the curb hauling two large suitcases. It was a milestone moment—Mama had no tears.
I had dropped Jenna off at the international terminal multiple times before as she traveled to Guatemala as a short term mission worker during her college and post-college years. She’s now a full time missionary doing orphan care in Mexico. When I dropped her off in the past, I couldn’t drive away without crying and worrying about her safety and nursing my own heart. She has an extra special place as my only daughter and firstborn.
Instead of tears this time, there was joy. Jenna is a seasoned traveler now, so I don’t really worry anymore. The personal growth she’s developed on the mission field gives me peace knowing she’s healthy and happy where she is. The passion she has for orphans and her relationship with Jesus Christ gives me assurance that God’s taking care of her when she’s out of my reach.
“Like arrows in the hands of warriors are children born of one’s youth” Psalm 127:4 says. God’s word is timeless and powerful to meet every need of life, including parenting. Psalm 127 instructs us that children are designed by God to be released into the future He has for them. Preparing them includes fledging their arrow. To fledge is to put feathers on an arrow, to equip them to fly.
This is our mandate as parents—we’re supposed to get them ready, to give them strong feathers for flight. Then we are to release them.
I appreciate the imagery of warriors that God uses for parents. We defend, protect, and equip. When we release, we’re to be strong. Raising kids is for warriors, not wimps. Raising them to be equipped for the world outside of our quiver is God’s call.
Strong warriors release arrows so they can fly far, wherever God takes them.
When Jenna chose a university far away from home, God convicted me it was just a stepping stone to overseas work he was calling her to do. The wimp in me wanted to pull her back in my quiver and say, “no way.” But as a Christian mom, I had to face the fact if I was raising my kids to love and serve Jesus, it meant I had to get out of the way and give up my mom-rights. I couldn’t keep them close because it felt best for me.
The moment of no tears that rainy day meant God was strengthening me as mom. It’s something you do over and over again as you let go of your kids to God’s care. God’s word is sufficient to meet our every need, too. It’s on His truth we stand as warriors who let go, again and again.
For more on everything in the fledge stage of parenting—letting go, mom grief, identity, facing midlife, and everything in between, get Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind. Jim Daly of Focus on the Family says it’s filled with “sensitive, biblical wisdom for moms who want to help their children launch well.” It’s available online and at major retailers. Join me on Facebook for our upcoming Fledge Parenting Forum, and on Instagram, Twitter, and at the Life Beyond the Picket Fence blog at brendayoder.com
Listen to Brenda’s podcast interview about “Fledge” with Whatever Girls Founder and Executive Director, Erin Bishop, HERE.
Growing up I did not have social media or a cell phone that allowed anyone to get a hold of me through texts, social media apps or email any time they wanted. When someone was hurtful to me, I would not feel obligated to hang out with him or her. It was easy to just move on and not have to worry about what they thought or what they were doing. I remember breaking up with a boyfriend and he made one call to a friend asking her why. That was it and we moved on. There were no social media posts for him to see what I was doing. I did not know what he was up to unless we saw each other in person or a friend mentioned something.
Today cell phones, apps, and social media make it difficult to move on because technology has made it so easy for everyone to know everyone’s business. In reality, we should have the right to choose who we let into our lives. Social media has turned that upside down. We should not feel a sense of obligation to have people who have hurt us or who make us uncomfortable watching us on social media. Watching those who have hurt us is not helpful either.
Choosing to press the block option on social media seems to be taboo. We are so worried about offending the person who offended and hurt us that we can’t block them. We allow them to see our lives, to comment on our photos, to text us or message us through apps.
Why is that? It is my right to choose who I let into my life and it is your right too. I have blocked people who have shown me nothing but hurt. If I wouldn’t want to spend time with them face to face because of how they hurt me, why would I want to give them access to my life on social media? Why would anyone feel obligated to allow hurtful people to have access to their social media accounts?
Recently I blocked someone who made me very uncomfortable. My right to keep my life out of his sight on social media far outweighs his belief that he has the right to know anything about me.
It’s Time to Set Some Boundaries
I think it is time we start looking at our cell phones, computers, and all forms of social media in the same way we look at our personal space. We choose how close we let people get to us in regard to our personal space, right? We are given the right to say no to unwanted hugs. We instinctively step back when our personal space is invaded. It’s time we apply the same thinking to all forms of technology. All of us need to understand that we have the right to step back from anyone on social media who makes us feel upset or anxious. It is time we throw out our sense of obligation that we need to be social media friends with them.
You do not have to allow someone who hurt you to watch your Snapchat story. They lost that privilege when they hurt you. Your life on Facebook is none of their business either. It is okay to choose the block option. You do not owe anyone an explanation, just like you don’t owe anyone a reason why you don’t want them in your personal space.
Ask yourself today and be honest, who makes you anxious or upset when they are near you personally?
If you do not want to be around them, it is a good indication you don’t need them as part of your life through social media. Is there an ex-boyfriend or someone from school who is hurtful to you? If so, do you feel obligated to stay connected with them on Facebook or other forms of social media? If you feel a sense of obligation that is keeping you from blocking someone, please talk to a parent or an adult you can trust. Choosing the block option is okay.
Do you know the weight of your “yes”?
When you make a commitment to someone by saying “yes”, the other person begins to make plans based on your “yes”.
Maybe you said “yes” to a friend’s dinner invitation, so your friend made a special menu, made a grocery-shopping list, cleaned her house, maybe even got out her fine china and polished her silver, and went shopping for food. She invested her time, talent, and treasure (money) to bless you with a special meal because you said “yes”.
Maybe you said “yes” to taking your daughter on a special father daughter date night. Your daughter asked for some special one on one time with you, so you told your her you would take her to her favorite restaurant for burgers and a milkshake, and to a movie she’s wanted to see, just the two of you. Your daughter is so excited to spend time with you because you said “yes”.
Maybe you said “yes” to babysitting for a woman who has to work on a Saturday to get a big project done at work. She told her boss she would be at work, and her boss is forming a plan on how many people need to work Saturday, and how to spread the staff out to get this project done. Plans for many people are being made because you said “yes”.
Maybe you said “yes” to volunteering for an event. The event coordinator has assigned you a position and is counting on you to be there to do what you said you would do, and has determined how many other volunteers are needed because you said “yes”.
Maybe you said “yes” to a sleepover at your friend’s house. Your friend has cleaned her room, come up with some fun ideas to do when you hang out, picked out some movies to watch, and her mom may have made some adjustments in the family budget to squeeze in pizza and ice cream for your sleepover. Your friend is excited and plans are being made because you said “yes”.
Maybe you said “yes” to a part in your school’s musical. You’ve auditioned, your teacher has assigned parts, rehearsals are in full swing, the musical is being promoted, and tickets are being sold. You are part of something and plans are moving forward because you said “yes”.
Your “yes” matters. Your “yes” sets plans in motion.
Most of the time we genuinely intend to keep our word when we say “yes” to an invitation or a commitment. Sometimes, though, something comes up and we need to cancel or reschedule. People get sick, you get called to work, there’s a family emergency, or a death in the family.
But for some, “yes” is simply a placeholder commitment for “I’ll see how I feel when the day comes”, “unless I get a better offer”, “unless this project gets too challenging or is more work than I expected”.
You can say “no”.
I have personally come to a place where I respect a person’s “no” more than I appreciate their “yes”. Why? We have become a culture that does not honor their word. I have been left picking up the pieces of someone’s broken commitment more times than I can count, so to me, a “no” is always better than an empty “yes”.
When you repeatedly say “yes” but your follow through says “no”, you lose credibility with people. You disappoint others and cause inconveniences.
- “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” Matthew 5:37
- Pray and think before you give your answer
- Honor people’s time
- Keep your word and honor your commitments