Teen Talk with Grace; Entitled Teens (Reader’s Choice)

Thanks for joining us for “Teen Talk With Grace”. Today Grace and I are talking about entitled teens. We polled our readers this week and that’s what you wanted us to talk about. What an eye opening discussion this was. We hope you enjoy it!

Have a topic you want us to cover in a future teen talk segment? Tell us in the comments.  Here’s the video, click here.


Teen talk with Grace

You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful; Part II

You don’t know you’re beautiful…

That’s what makes you beautiful!

– One Direction

Sweet Girl,

I had to think awhile about these lines.  I had to meditate on the boy band’s message in order to decide if I agree with what their saying.  Like I said last time, I don’t want you to listen to these songs and get all these sayings in your head if they aren’t the truth, ya know?  Even if they do get in your head and the meaning behind them isn’t fabulous, I want you to have some Truth that’s rooted deep in your heart.

Here’s the thing:  You are beautiful and I want you to know that you are.  And you are beautiful simply because you are created by God and He revels in the magnificence of His creation. Do you know that He calls you (yes, you!) His prized possession?  Let’s learn early to define beauty by God’s standards and not the world’s standards because let me tell you, they are two entirely different things.

Every good thing God created came from the overflow of his own beauty. Imagine the first six days on planet Earth!

I don’t profess to know the inner working of the boy band song-making machine, but I’m not sure that they really understand what they are singing in this song.  Thinking that you are ugly or not as pretty as so-and-so, thinking that God messed up when He gave you that hair or those teeth or these thighs – this kind of not knowing you’re beautiful doesn’t normally capture the kind of attention these boys are giving.  At least in my opinion.

What is attractive is real self-confidence.  True humility doesn’t mean being self-deprecating.  It doesn’t mean walking around thinking and acting like you are nothing.  The Holman Bible Dictionary defines humility this way:

“The personal quality of being free from arrogance and pride and having an accurate estimate of one’s worth.”[2]

What I think Harold, Niall, Louis, Liam, and Zayn (thank you, Wikipedia) are trying to articulate is that what makes you beautiful is simply accepting your beauty and not being all proud about it.  Flaunting, parading, seducing – it doesn’t elicit the same reaction from people as simply residing in the fact that you are created with beauty…and then moving on to more important things.

Like what’s on the inside.  Like what radiates from the heart.

The truth is, most everyone I know that has chosen to flaunt their beauty doesn’t really know they’re beautiful. They are out for affirmation because they haven’t realized their worth comes from the Most High God.

What happens when you accept that God created you as a beautiful being?  What happens when you push away societal pressures to look and act a certain way?  What do you do with all the free time and headspace that you now have??

You keep working on cultivating that internal beauty.

Internal beauty comes from letting God’s Word nourish your soul.  His thoughts about you are what protect you when the world tries to steal this sustenance.  You are enough.  Because He designed you that way.




You’re insecure,

Don’t know what for,

You’re turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or,

Don’t need make-up,

To cover up,

Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough,

– One Direction

Act like it photo Actlikeit_zpse38af8f1.jpg

Jen is hosting a giveaway at her place, Finding Heaven, this week that continues on her post’s theme of beauty.  She currently has a guest post series running on her blog called “beheld in a different Light.”  Last week’s guest poster, Kendal Privette, is giving away a signed copy of her book, Full, which is about her journey through her eating disorder.  If you would like to enter to win, please click here and find the Rafflecopter widget.  To read Kendal’s guest post, click here.  To read more about this series, click here.



[1] Strassner, K. (2009). Opening up Genesis. Opening Up Commentary (27). Leominster: Day One Publications.

[2] Hardin, G. (2003). Humility. In C. Brand, C. Draper, A. England, S. Bond, E. R. Clendenen & T. C. Butler (Eds.), Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary (C. Brand, C. Draper, A. England, S. Bond, E. R. Clendenen & T. C. Butler, Ed.) (792). Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers.

You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful; Part I

By Jen Ferguson

To My Sweet Girl,

I confess. I’ve been raiding songs from your iTunes account and put them on my running mix. Somehow, I never grew out of the boy band phase. Sure, I don’t listen to New Kids on the Block anymore, but I am a sucker for One Direction and Justin Bieber. Is this so wrong that I’m your mom and I can bob with the best of them?

Maybe it’s embarrassing to you, but can I tell you a secret? It’s good that I know what you listen to because there can be so many false messages in a song. Sure, I don’t let you download songs that have the “bad words” in them, but maybe a few have slipped by me that have tainted messages? Maybe I figured that you were too young to understand what the lyrics “really mean” and so I let you sing them. But maybe what I’m doing is just creating these mantras in your head that, when you are older, you will understand what they mean and those lyrics…do I really want those words to be what you sing to yourself when you’re crying your eyes out over a boy?

These are the questions we moms lose sleep over sometimes, you know?

I don’t have all the answer yet, to this question or many others, (you’ve probably noticed this by now, haven’t you?) but I thought I’d share an idea with you. Some of these secular love songs can become really good mantras if we imagine that it is God singing them to us.

Listening to One Direction’s “You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful” makes me smile every time I hear it. Yes, the boys are cute, the beat is good, and it makes me run faster, but there is another reason.

It makes me think about how God sees me. Can you imagine God saying this to you every time you show Him your sweet face?

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed…

If only you saw what I can see,
You’ll understand why I want you so desperately,
Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe,
You don’t know,
Oh oh,
You don’t know you’re beautiful.

Can you even stand it? So many times I look in the mirror and a thousand other words come to mind that don’t come close to the word “beautiful.” All these years, though, I’ve been looking at myself through the eyes of the world and comparing myself to an image that has probably been altered six hundred ways before it graced the cover of a magazine. I didn’t have any other mantra in my head, but girl, oh how I want you to have one. These words may not be as catchy as a One Direction song, but they’ll serve you a lot longer. God’s Word never seems to go out of style after all these years.

Do me a favor? Will you take these words and put them on your mirror? Will you hum them to yourself when you get dressed for school? Will you repeat them to yourself after someone has said an unkind word to you? Will you let God’s Word speak louder than the one of your new boyfriend, or the mean girl down the hall, or your best friend that was having a bad day?

Here they are, written just for you:


God created you, just the way you are. You are precious in His sight and beautiful to boot. Make that your mantra.

I love you,

Two Things Your Teen Wants You to Know

I recently had the privilege of sitting down with an “expert” on parent/teenager communication. The expert?  My soon to be fifteen-year-old daughter, Grace. (Click here to watch the interview)

Grace is a weekly contributor for the Whatever Girls and during her weekly vlog interview I asked her what she thought most teens want their parents to know. Her answer surprised me: “Most teenagers want their parents to know times have changed and they don’t know “exactly” what we’re going through and feeling”

I like to think of myself as a good listener and hope that when someone comes to me for a listening ear I can impart some wisdom I’ve gleaned through personal experiences. According to Grace, teens don’t always appreciate advice.  “Sometimes we need it to be just about us.”

2 Things Your Teen Wants You to KnowGrace shared that a common frustration among her and her friends is when they approach their parents with a problem they almost always go into advice mode, rather than simply listening.  When kids come to their parents they want and need an opportunity to vent and get things off their chests. She went on to say that when parents turn the conversation towards their experiences as a teen it can make them feel like their situation is being downplayed.

So what’s a parent to do?

1. Listen

2. Issue advice when they ask for it

I was surprised to learn that kids don’t always appreciate advice. Part of me wonders if that is rooted in pride and/or the lack of a teachable spirit. Maybe both.

What do you think? Bonus points if you ask your teen to share their opinion.

Pop-Up Ads

A few years ago, it seemed as if pop-up ads appeared overnight on every website I visited.  I would open my browser and the screen would get overrun with ads for insert-product-of-your-choice. When visiting certain sites, I could almost guarantee a Netflix or screen saver ad would come up. Thankfully, my husband knows a thing or two about computers, and he was able to adjust my internet settings to block those annoying ads. On occasion, one or two still gets through the filter, but they are nowhere near as common as before.

Today I’m over at More To Be. Please click here to read the rest of “Pop-Up Ads”

More to Be Contributor

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